Sorry tis one is full of gaalis but seriously funny... Cant help forwarding
Santa ne 1st year ka exam diya aur usko jail ho gayi.
Kyun?
Paper mein sawaal tha ki:- Nehruji kab paida huve?
Santa ne jawaab likha:- Jab unki maa chudi.
--------------------------------------------------
Sardar ne railway reservation form me Ling ke samne likha - 8 inch.
Lady clerk - ye kya hae? kato ise
Sardar: kitna?
Lady: pura
Sardar - Maa chudao, Bus se chala jaunga
--------------------------------------------------
A journalist to Osho :
Do U know what all men & women R Doing in Ur Ashram?
Osho: Mere ko kya?
Journalist: Lekin ye to Aapka Ashram hai.
Osho:Fir bhosdike tere ko kya.
----------------------------------------------------
A middle-aged lady, in short clothes, to Santa in office, "Am I looking young in this new outfit?"
Santa: Take this also off, you'll look like a new-born!
----------------------------------------------------
Bhakt,Nirmal baba se bola - Baba har saal bachha paida ho jaata hai, kya karu?
Baba-Condom use karte Ho.
Bhakt- karta Hu.
Baba-Condom mohalle me baant do, kripa wahi se aa rahi hai.
---------------------------------------------------
Viagra ki 5 goli khakar 2 ghante tak girlfriend ke saath karne ke baad...
Santa bola: "Ab tum 3 ghante mujhe dekh nahi paogi"
GF: "Kyun? Kahin ja rahe ho kya?"
Santa: "Nahi janu, Ab palat jao"..
--------------------------------------------------
Husband apne sasural me biwi se: aaj sex ho jaye..
Biwi: Nahi hum papa ke ghar hai..
Hus:To kya mere BAAP ka ghar Randikhana hai jo roz taiyar ho jati hai...!
--------------------------------------------
BABA RAMDEV: beta apne se badi nari ko ma,barabar wali ko bahan or choti ko beti mana karo.
BHAKT:to baba ye lund aap hi rakh lo Jadi Buti kootne ke kam ayega
--------------------------------------------
Suhag raat mein.
BUILDER: Tere hoth Duplex jaise hain, figure Landscape Garden ki tarah hai.
WIFE: Ab Bhumi-Pujan bhi karoge ya mazdoor bulaun.
--------------------------------------------
Baba Sex ki Goli Bech Raha Tha
1 Goli Lega 1 Feet Lamba
2 Goli Lega 2 Feet Lamba
SARDAR
Baba 10 Goli Lu To?
BABA
madarchod Ladki Chodega Ya Borewell khodega.
Chor aya
Tijori par likha tha
"Todne ki zaroorat nahi button dabao, khul jayegi"
Button dabate hi police aa gayee.
Police : kuch apni safaii me kehna hai ?
Chor : maa kasam aaj insaniyat se vishwas uth gaya..
How to increase Positive Thinking..?
.
.
Watch FTV, bcz u always keep thinking," Chalo, iska nai to agli wali ka to kuch dikhega"
There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on "how to live in a loving relationship with your husband."
The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?'
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?'
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn't remember..
The women were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective husband: "I love you, sweetheart."
Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
2. What now? Did you crash the car again?
3. I don't understand what you mean?
4. What did you do now? I won't forgive you this time !!!
5. ? ! ?
6. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
7. Am I dreaming ? ???????
8. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today...!!!
9. I asked you not to drink anymore !!
............and the best one
10. Who is this?
2 Old ladies r smoking CAMEL brand cigrettes.
Wen it starts raining.
1 lady pulls out a condom, cuts off the end,puts it
over her cigarette & continues smoking.
2'nd lady:-What's that?
1st lady :-Condom,this way my cigrette does'nt get
wet.
Nxt day the 2nd lady goes to the chemist & asks for
condom.Chemist looks at her strangely(she's over 80
years),bt politely asks wat brand she prefers.Lady:-It
doesn't matter as long as it fits the Camel.
Chemist fainted!
Santa & ladki sex kar rahe thay.....
Achanak ladki ka husband aa gaya....
Ladki ne Santa ko cupboard mei chhupa dia but uski gotiyan darwaze ke bahar reh gaye....
Husband: Ye kya hai ?
Wife: Ye maine nayi bell lagwayi hai.
Husband ne hila kar dekha, koi aawaj nahi aayi, zor se hilaya phir bhi koi aawaj nahi ayi.
Phir usne zor se mukka mara to Santa cupboard se bahar akar rote hue bola.....
Tiinggtonggg sale kutte Tinggtongg
Santa Banta Jokes -
Santa: Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.
Banta: Soja-Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain..
Santa Banta Latest Jokes -
Santa proposed a Girl......
Girl said Im 1yr elder to you...........
Santa said Oye No Problem Soniye,
Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.
Santa Banta Latest Jokes -
Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao,
usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan..
Saas - Aane do mere bete ko
use baith kar Samjhaungi teri Kartut.
Bahu: Koi faida nahi
Saas: Q?
Bahu: tum BAITH k Samjaogi
Or
Me LET K Mana Lungi,,"
Ek baar Rajesh apne friend Kalu k ghar Taash khelne gya.
Rajesh, Kalu aur Kalua ki Modern Biwi taash khel rahe thee tab Rajesh ka 1 patta table ke niche gira.
Rajesh patta uthaane k liye table k niche jhuka to Saamne Kalu ki biwi apni Chhoti Skirt me se Pussy pe Ungliya Ghuma rahi thii..
Yeg dekh ke Rajesh ka pasina aa gaya aur mann machal utha.
Table k upar aane k baad Kalu ki biwi Rajesh ko ishaara kiya aur kitchen me paani ka bahaana kar ke chal di.
Us k pichhe Rajesh bhi paani ka bahaana kar k chala gaya.
Kitchen me..
Kalu ki biwi: "Kya dekha tumne?"
Rajesh: "Wahi jo tumne dikhaya."
Biwi: "Lena chahoge?"
Rajesh: "Zaroor".
Biwi: '50,000/- lagega.."
Ab Rajesh apni Financial situation nhi hone se soch me pad gaya..
aur thodi der baad bola:"Theek hai,
kal shaam ko aaunga.."
Dusre din shaam ko Rajesh aaya.
Aur khoob Jam k Kalu ki biwi ki Chudaai kar ke Haalat Kharaab kar di,
aur 50000 de k Nikal gaya..
Raat ko Kalu ghar pahucha to biwi se bola: Rajesh aaya thaa na?"
Ab to bechari k pasine chhut gaye aur bol diya:
"Haa Aaya thaa".
Thodi der baad biwi ne puchha:"Aisa kyo puchha?"
Kalu: "Bas..
Rajesh Aaj Subah mujhse 50000 Udhaar le gaya thaa... Bola Shaam ko Ghar pe Bhabhi ji ko De jaunga..."
Ek sawaal:
Ek RAJA ki Biwi ka naam
"TUMHARI"tha,
Ek din RAJA ne apni Biwi TUMHARI ko mahal k upar se dhakka de dia aur Tumhari niche gir gayi.
Aur Phir Tumhari k upar hathi ne paon rakh dia aur is tarah Tumhari mar gayi.
Ab sawaal ye hai k Tumhari kisne maari?
Raja ne ya Hathi ne?
Hanso mat, jawaab do
"Pure friendship"
never cares for
Age, Money, Status, Beauty, Richness, Education, etc.
It only wants a
"Caring Heart"
for
"Sharing Feelings..";-)
gmtc
Pyar Ki Sarhade Nahi Hoti, Ye Wo Mulk Hai
Jisme Imarate Nahi Hoti, Sabhi Rahte hai
1 Dusre Ke Dil Me, Ye Wo Adalat Hai Jaha Shikayate Nahi Hoti...
Potty has 5 colors:
1- yellow
2- green
3- black
4- red
5- brown
Normally what can we see in a Potty:
1. Seeds of ladies finger
2. Chopped chillies
3. Rolled tomatoes
4. Coriander leaves
5. Corn
If u look at the shape of Potty carefully,you can visualise various things -
1. eagle
2. snake
3. bhoot
4. dinosaur
5. gobar ki gol thaipdi
Types of Potty:
1. Thin
2. Hard
3. Soluble
4. Dry
5. Jelly
6. Oily
Types of Potty
GHOST potty
The kind of potty when u felt there’s potty coming out, but no potty in a toilet
CLEAN potty
U potty it out, see a potty in the toilet but nothing on the tissue✅
WET potty
After wiping plenty times you still feel un wiped
SECOND WAVE potty
U’re done potting, u’ve pulled up your pants and realize u need to potty some more
POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD potty
U strain so much to get it out you feel like you’re having a stroke
GASSY potty
So noisy, every1 within earshot is giggling
SKID MARKS potty
It leaves the most noticeable skid marks at the bottom of the toilet
BURN potty
Reminds you that u had too much of chillies the previous night.
BIO WARFARE potty
Turns your toilet into a toxic chamber. Makes u regret u left your deodorant outside.
THE I WISH I COULD potty
U wanna potty but all u do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times
WET CHEEK potty
It drops so fast it splashes water on your butt cheeks
THE DANGLING potty
The one that refuses to leave your ass u need to shake it off
THE SURPRISE potty
You’re about to fart but BAAAMMMM! IT’S A POTTY!!!
No matter how beautiful or rich you are but im sure you’ve experienced one or more of those potty type...
No morning can be good without a Happy Potty
Plz pass dis information 2 all n enjoy potty day..
Wish Potty day to 7 People & hv a Smooth Potty wid full pressure and sound.
If u dont frwd, u will be constipate for da nxt 3days.
Zindgi tab hasin hoti hai
jab chahne se har khushi nasib hoti hai
kahne ko to sab apne hai
par kash koi aisa ho
jo kahe " tere dard se mujhe bhi takleef hoti hai"
ADMISSIONS OPEN FOR 2013-14 KAMDEV INSTITUTE OF SEXUAL SCIENCES (KISS)...
Courses:
1. Master of Sex (MS)
2. PG Diploma in Oral Sex Technology (OST)
3. Bachelor of Rape Science (RS)
4. Diploma in Bedroom Fuck Management (BFM)
5. Certificate courses-
a) Foreplay
b) Kiss Techniques
c) Masturbation & Fingering
d) Blow job (BJ)
20% Theory, 80% Practicals.
Guest Faculty-
Rakhi Sawant,
Sunny Leone.
Scholarships available.
Hurry up!!
limited Beds.....
SPECIALLY FOR SUNAR COMMUNITY
Agar sunar na hote to kya hota.........
kon badhata sone ka kaarobar..........
Kon krta sone ka vyapar.........
Kon banata sai baba ka sone ka shringar........
Kon deta heroine ko tohfe me hiro ka haar.........
Sorry yaar duniya bekar bina.......SON OF SUNAR
Girl (During sex): Nahi ye galat hai.
Boy: But I Luv U.
G: Fir bhi galat hai.
B: Hum shaadi kar lenge.
G: Bhosdike..... jahan daal raha hai, wo jagah galat hai !
--------------------
Teacher: Bachchon batao LOVE kyun acchha hai WAR se ?
Saare students ek saath bole: kyunki condom saste milte hain talwar se.:)
--------------------
Wife computer par kaam karte hue apne pati se boli "Koi achha password batana....?"
Husband: "Lund".
Wife has-has ke chair parse gir padi kyuki computer says "Aapka pasword Chhota Hai..."
--------------------
Lady: Ek shampoo please.
Shopkeeper: Kya dhona hai?
Lady: Kya matlab kya dhona hai, baal dhone hai aur kya?
Shopkeeper: Head ke baal dhone hai toh HEAD & SHOULDERS aur panty ke baal dhone hai toh PANTENE lelo.
Lady: GARNIER de madarchod. Gand ke baal dhone hai.
--------------------
Girl goes on a date.
Woried Mother gives her
Condom.
Girl Laughs n Hugs Mother & Says :Yahi soch to badalni hau Maa.
I'm Dating With Julie, so Give me Mulie
--------------
Ek gubbare waale ki dukan ke bahar likha tha:
Agar apne bacche ko gubbara nahi dila sakte to waqt pe gubbara chadha liya karo...!!!
एक कलाकार से दिल के दरवाजे की तस्वीर बनाने के लिए कहा गया, उसने बहुत सुन्दर दिल की तस्वीर बनायी औरउसमे एक छोटा सा खुबसूरत दरवाजा लगाया | मगर उसमे हैंडल नहीं था...किसी ने पूछा भाई इसमें हैंडल क्यों नहीं लगाया ? कलाकार ने बहुत खुबसूरत और दिल को छूने वाला जवाब दिया की-"दिल के दरवाजे अन्दर से खुलते हैं, बाहर से नहीं"...
एक बार एक कुंवारा लड़का मर गया।
माँ रो-रो के, "हे भगवान् इसने
तो अभी जवानी भी नहीं देखी थी!"
पड़ोस की भाभी रोते हुए बोली,
"ना रो चाची मैंने दिखा दी थी।"
Cricket game, IPL ki wajah se bahut improve ho
gayi...
Hume b apna Exam system improve karne ke
liye IPL ke steps lene honge...
1-Har paper 1.5 hr ka hona chahiye...
2-Har 30 Mins k bad DISCUSSION k liye break
do...
3-Ek free hit do Jisme Student Apni Marzi ka ek
answer likh sake...
4-Pehle 20 mins ka power play do, jisme
Examiner Hall se bahar chala jaye...
5-Har correct Ans Pe cheer gals dance kare.
Tufani Barish May Raat Ko Shop per 1 Admi
Pizza Lenay Aaya
Shopkeeper: Aap Shadi Shuda Hai
Admi: Is Tufani Barish May Kya Meri Maa Mujay
Pizza Lene Bhejegi
Wife saw board outside a shop
Monsoon Offer Only for today :
Banarsi saree 10/-
Nylon 8/-
Cotton 5/-
Excited Wife to Husband: Give me Rs.500, I'll buy 50 sarees
Husband:
.
.
.
.
.
.
Birbal ki ma, istri ki dukan hai vo!
Ek Gora-Chitta 19 Saal ka Launda Ghar se
bhaagkar Mumbai chala gaya... Wahan kaam-
dhandha toh kuchh mila nahin aur Daaru ki Latt
aur lag gayi.. Poora din kuchh chhota-mota
kaam karke raat ko Desi Daaru pi ke, Nashe mein
dhutt hoke ek Garage ke baahar so jaata tha!
Ek raat Garage ka Sardar Maalik kisi kaam se
aaya aur usse wo Launda sota hua dikha... Gora-
Chitta Lauda dekh ke Sardar ka Lund khada ho
gayaa aur ussne Launde ki Gaand maar li..
Sardar ko daya bhi aayi aur ussne uss Launde ki
Jeb mein ek 50 ka Note bhi rakh diya... Launde
ko Nashe mein kuchh pata na chala aur agle din
subah utthkar usse Jeb mein 50 ka Note mila toh
wo khushi se paagal ho gayaa aur uss din zyaada
Desi Daaru pi...
Ab toh roz ka silsila chaalu ho gayaa... Sardar
roz raat ko usski Gaand maarta aur usski Jeb
mein 50 ka rakh deta!
Ek Raat Sardar ke 3 Dost bhi aa gaye... Aur
sabne uss Launde ki gaand maari aur sabne
50-50 rupiye bhi rakh diye...
Agle din Launde ne dekha ki Jeb mein 200 Rs
hain... Wo paise lekar seedha Thheke par
pahuncha aur bola...
Launda : Bhaai... Aaj Desi nahin Angreji ka
Pawwa de... Saala Desi pi-pi ke Gaand mein dard
hone laga hai!-
This ones awesome !!! ..
A kid entered into parent's bedroom and shocked at what he sees. Aur chillata huwa bola:"khud jo marzi aaye karo, aur mujhe ek angutha chusne par itna marti ho.....!!!!
*Ek Kanya ka Boidata
Shadi ke liye *
Name: CHAMPA
DOB: 14/8/82
Wt: 99kg
Hght: 4 ft
Colour: Black
State: Jharkhand
Kaam: Gobar Uthanan
Dream: Shadi karungi to sirf is SMS padhne wale se.
Hasoge to rishta pakka
Nargis 2 doctor:My Hole Is 2 Big
DR Looks In Hole Says My
Goodness,Goodness,Goodness.
Nargis:Y R U Repeting Words?
DR:Repeat Nahi kar raha,Awaz Goonj rahi ha ;-
A lot of ladies used to sit together every evening in a park and talk non stop.
One day they were all sitting very very quietly.
A gentleman who would walk past the noisy group everyday was surprised to see them all so quiet.
He inquired about this to which they replied,
"You see, today we r all present, so we don't know whom to gossip about"!!
Awesome
Explanation
Kyun chalti hai pawan,
Because of evaporation .
Kyun jhoome hai gagan,
Because of earth's rotation.
Kyun machalta hai mann,
Because of disorder in digestion.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
I just explained
Kyun gum hai har disha,
Because u have poor sense of
direction.
Kyun hota hai nasha,
Because of drug addiction.
Kyun aata hai mazaa,
Because u enjoy the situation.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
As u can see i just explained
Kyun aati hai bahar,
Because of change in season.
Kyun khota hai karar,
Because of taking tension.
Kyun hota hai pyaar,
Because of opposite attraction.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
Memory loss?
Take a closer look and you will find these are not real flowers - These are human bodies !!!!! Here is an unbelievable and out of this world compilation of “human flowers”.This stunning illusion is created through the use of cleverly laid out bodies painted in different colors. You’ll find it hard not to be amazed and inspired by these images
Zoom n watch d above pic ....
Nawab ka beta 3rd std me fail hua,School ne usko 2nd std me bheja,2nd me fail hua, to usse 1st std me bheja...Nawab apne biwi se bola: Apni Tange khuli rakhna, ye Chutiya wapas aa raha hai...
Teacher: Dushasan kon tha?
GAPPU: chutiya tha !
Teachr : kyon?
Studnt: Sala itni der tak dropadi ki saari khichta raha,upar bhi to utha sakta tha.
:"LUN Ki Kahani Apni Zubani"
Main 1 LUN Hun
Meri Normal Hight 6 Inch Hy
Larkiyon Ko Dekh K Mery Muh Me Pani Aa Jata Hy
Larkiyon Me Meri Bari Value Hy
Main Choot
GAND
Or Muh Me Dalny K Kam Aata Hun
Mujh Se Muth B Mari Jati Hy
Mera Manpasand Dress Condom Hy
Log Mujhe Pyaar Se
LORA B Kehty Hen
Or
Main Is Watqt Msg Parh Raha Hun
Or
Hans Raha Hun
Mere sath b ye Hi Huwa hai jani. Aage bhej naya aaya hai naya...
Dad :- Beta maine Tere liye Ladki Dekhi Hai.
Wo Rupmati Hai
Bhagyvati Hai
Gunvati Hai
Sarswati Hai...!
Son :- Dad me kisi or se pyaar karta hu or wo garbhavati hai.
Chodumal Khan Saab Ka Ek Sher Arz Hai
Meri Gaand Par Main Fida,
Teri Gaand Par Tu Fida,
Meri Gaand Par Main Fida,
Teri Gaand Par Tu Fida.
Aur Jis Din Teri Gand Par Main Fida,
Us Din Beta Samajh Le Tu Chuda
Police wala or fauji ek saath train me safar kr
rahe thy.
Police: Ap chutti pe ja rahe he?
Fauji: Han wife ki delivry he.
Police: Kitne din baad ghr ja rahe ho?
Fauji: 2 saal baad.
Police: Phr to hone wala bacha harami hoga
Fauji: Mjhe konsa ghr rkhna hai police me bharti
kr doon ga…
Ek husband wife ne sex ka code rakha ''phone karna hai ''
Pati: - beta mummy se kaho papa ko urgent phone karna hai.
Patni - papa ko bolo abhi phone nahi kar sakte network kharab hai, thik hone me 4/5 din lagenge.
Pati - beta mummy ko bolo ki phone nahi karne diya to papa public phone se call kar lenge.
Patni:- beta papa ko bolo, aisi galti ki to mummy ghar par PCO khol legi.
Its new in whatsapp faila do ............
Santa & ladki sex kar rahe thay.....
Achanak ladki ka husband aa gaya....
Ladki ne Santa ko cupboard mei chhupa dia but uski gotiyan darwaze ke bahar reh gaye....
Husband: Ye kya hai ?
Wife: Ye maine nayi bell lagwayi hai.
Husband ne hila kar dekha, koi aawaj nahi aayi, zor se hilaya phir bhi koi aawaj nahi ayi.
Phir usne zor se mukka mara to Santa cupboard se bahar akar rote hue bola.....
Tiinggtonggg sale kutte Tinggtongg
Wife sitting on sofa in skirt,not wearing Panty.
Wife smiles n said: ese kya Dekh rhe ho, Panty nhi pehni he
Husbnd:Tune to Dara diya.Muje Lga sofa fat Gaya.!
Train me bahut bheed thi, baath room k paas ek bori rakhi thi, ek aadmi us bori per jaise hi baithne laga to ek lady boli, us pe mat baitho,ande foot jaayenge. Aadmi bola, itni bheed me aise bori me ande lekar kyun chalti ho??? .Lady boli, abe chutiye, bori me to keel hai, Ande tere foot jaayenge...:
In flight a girl and boy fellow passengers look at each other:
Boy: Whats ur name?
Girl: Pehan ke bataun ya bolke
Boy: Xcuse me?
Girl: Payal is my name
tryin to act smart) Girl : Aur aapka naam?
Boy: Haath mei dun yah mu mei?
Girl: What The Fuck?
Boy: I am Prasad.
Sorry tis one is full of gaalis but seriously funny... Cant help forwarding
Santa ne 1st year ka exam diya aur usko jail ho gayi.
Kyun?
Paper mein sawaal tha ki:- Nehruji kab paida huve?
Santa ne jawaab likha:- Jab unki maa chudi.
--------------------------------------------------
Sardar ne railway reservation form me Ling ke samne likha - 8 inch.
Lady clerk - ye kya hae? kato ise
Sardar: kitna?
Lady: pura
Sardar - Maa chudao, Bus se chala jaunga
--------------------------------------------------
A journalist to Osho :
Do U know what all men & women R Doing in Ur Ashram?
Osho: Mere ko kya?
Journalist: Lekin ye to Aapka Ashram hai.
Osho:Fir bhosdike tere ko kya.
----------------------------------------------------
A middle-aged lady, in short clothes, to Santa in office, "Am I looking young in this new outfit?"
Santa: Take this also off, you'll look like a new-born!
----------------------------------------------------
Bhakt,Nirmal baba se bola - Baba har saal bachha paida ho jaata hai, kya karu?
Baba-Condom use karte Ho.
Bhakt- karta Hu.
Baba-Condom mohalle me baant do, kripa wahi se aa rahi hai.
---------------------------------------------------
Viagra ki 5 goli khakar 2 ghante tak girlfriend ke saath karne ke baad...
Santa bola: "Ab tum 3 ghante mujhe dekh nahi paogi"
GF: "Kyun? Kahin ja rahe ho kya?"
Santa: "Nahi janu, Ab palat jao"..
--------------------------------------------------
Husband apne sasural me biwi se: aaj sex ho jaye..
Biwi: Nahi hum papa ke ghar hai..
Hus:To kya mere BAAP ka ghar Randikhana hai jo roz taiyar ho jati hai...!
--------------------------------------------
BABA RAMDEV: beta apne se badi nari ko ma,barabar wali ko bahan or choti ko beti mana karo.
BHAKT:to baba ye lund aap hi rakh lo Jadi Buti kootne ke kam ayega
--------------------------------------------
Suhag raat mein.
BUILDER: Tere hoth Duplex jaise hain
Santa ki shaadi k 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa : Ye 3 mahine me bacha kaise ho gaya..??
Biwi : Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai..??
Santa : 3 mahine.
Biwi : Aur meri shadi ko..??
Santa : 3 mahine.
Biwi : Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua..??
Santa : 3 mahine baad.
Biwi : Total kitne mahine ho gaye..??
Santa : Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye! time ka pata hi nahi laga?!!
BOY : I want us to be in a relationship.
GIRL : Its okay but under one condition.
BOY : Which one ?
GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband.
BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition.
GIRL : Which one ?
BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!!
GIRL : Lo tum toh serious ho gaye.. Arre I was kidding jaanu
Boy: Can i Kiss u?
Girl: Condom laye ho?
Boy: kiss k liye condom?
Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho
jaise kissing k bad jo Khada hoga uspe 2014 ka Calender tangoge!!