MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ
THIS ...
“When I got home that night as my wife
served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve
got something to tell you. She sat down
and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in
her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my
mouth. But I had to let her know what I
was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the
topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be
annoyed by my words, instead she asked
me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her
angry. She threw away the chopsticks and
shouted at me, you are not a man! That
night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to find out
what had happened to our marriage. But I
could hardly give her a satisfactory answer;
she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love
her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a
divorce agreement which stated that she
could own our house, our car, and 30%
stake of my company. She glanced at it
and then tore it into pieces. The woman
who had spent ten years of her life with me
had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I
loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was
actually a kind of release. The idea of
divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer
now.
The next day, I came back home very late
and found her writing something at the
table. I didn’t have supper but went
straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast
because I was tired after an eventful day
with Jane. When I woke up, she was still
there at the table writing. I just did not care
so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce
conditions: she didn’t want anything from
me, but needed a month’s notice before the
divorce. She requested that in that one
month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple:
our son had his exams in a month’s time
and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our
broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had
something more, she asked me to recall
how I had carried her into out bridal room
on our wedding day. She requested that
every day for the month’s duration I carry
her out of our bedroom to the front door
ever morning. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together
bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce
conditions. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what
tricks she applies, she has to face the
divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact
since my divorce intention was explicitly
expressed. So when I carried her out on the
first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our
son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mommy in his arms. His words brought me
a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the
sitting room, then to the door, I walked over
ten meters with her in my arms. She closed
her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son
about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outside the
door. She went to wait for the bus to work.
I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much
more easily. She leaned on my chest. I
could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman
carefully for a long time. I realized she was
not young any more. There were fine
wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For
a minute I wondered what I had done to
her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt
a sense of intimacy returning. This was the
woman who had given ten years of her life
to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized
that our sense of intimacy was growing
again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It
became easier to carry her as the month
slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one
morning. She tried on quite a few dresses
but could not find a suitable one. Then she
sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I
suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry
her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so
much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched
her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said,
Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him,
seeing his father carrying his mother out
had become an essential part of his life.
My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face
away because I was afraid I might change
my mind at this last minute. I then held her
in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just
like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms
I could hardly move a step. Our son had
gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I
hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car
swiftly without locking the door. I was
afraid any delay would make me change
my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened
the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do
not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then
touched my forehead. Do you have a fever?
She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My
marriage life was boring probably because
she and I didn’t value the details of our
lives, not because we didn’t love each other
anymore. Now I realize that since I carried
her into my home on our wedding day I am
supposed to hold her until death do us
apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I
walked downstairs and drove away. At the
floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet
of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked
me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until
death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my
hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs,
only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My
wife had been fighting CANCER for months
and I was so busy with Jane to even
notice. She knew that she would die soon
and she wanted to save me from the
whatever negative reaction from our son, in
case we push through with the divorce.— At
least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving
husband….
The small details of your lives are what
really matter in a relationship. It is not the
mansion, the car, property, the money in
the bank. These create an environment
conducive for happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and
do those little things for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy
marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen
to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did
not realize how close they were to success
when they gave up.
Remember love is the richest of all
treasures. Without it there is nothing; and
with it there is everything. Love never
perishes , even if the bones of a lover are
ground fine like powder. Just as the
perfume of sandalwood does not leave it,
even if it is completely ground up, similarly
the basis of love is the soul, and it is
indestructible and therefore eternal. Beauty
can be destroyed , but not love.
THIS ...
“When I got home that night as my wife
served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve
got something to tell you. She sat down
and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in
her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my
mouth. But I had to let her know what I
was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the
topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be
annoyed by my words, instead she asked
me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her
angry. She threw away the chopsticks and
shouted at me, you are not a man! That
night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to find out
what had happened to our marriage. But I
could hardly give her a satisfactory answer;
she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love
her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a
divorce agreement which stated that she
could own our house, our car, and 30%
stake of my company. She glanced at it
and then tore it into pieces. The woman
who had spent ten years of her life with me
had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I
loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was
actually a kind of release. The idea of
divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer
now.
The next day, I came back home very late
and found her writing something at the
table. I didn’t have supper but went
straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast
because I was tired after an eventful day
with Jane. When I woke up, she was still
there at the table writing. I just did not care
so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce
conditions: she didn’t want anything from
me, but needed a month’s notice before the
divorce. She requested that in that one
month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple:
our son had his exams in a month’s time
and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our
broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had
something more, she asked me to recall
how I had carried her into out bridal room
on our wedding day. She requested that
every day for the month’s duration I carry
her out of our bedroom to the front door
ever morning. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together
bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce
conditions. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what
tricks she applies, she has to face the
divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact
since my divorce intention was explicitly
expressed. So when I carried her out on the
first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our
son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mommy in his arms. His words brought me
a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the
sitting room, then to the door, I walked over
ten meters with her in my arms. She closed
her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son
about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outside the
door. She went to wait for the bus to work.
I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much
more easily. She leaned on my chest. I
could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman
carefully for a long time. I realized she was
not young any more. There were fine
wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For
a minute I wondered what I had done to
her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt
a sense of intimacy returning. This was the
woman who had given ten years of her life
to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized
that our sense of intimacy was growing
again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It
became easier to carry her as the month
slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one
morning. She tried on quite a few dresses
but could not find a suitable one. Then she
sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I
suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry
her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so
much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched
her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said,
Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him,
seeing his father carrying his mother out
had become an essential part of his life.
My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face
away because I was afraid I might change
my mind at this last minute. I then held her
in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just
like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms
I could hardly move a step. Our son had
gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I
hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car
swiftly without locking the door. I was
afraid any delay would make me change
my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened
the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do
not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then
touched my forehead. Do you have a fever?
She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My
marriage life was boring probably because
she and I didn’t value the details of our
lives, not because we didn’t love each other
anymore. Now I realize that since I carried
her into my home on our wedding day I am
supposed to hold her until death do us
apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I
walked downstairs and drove away. At the
floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet
of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked
me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until
death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my
hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs,
only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My
wife had been fighting CANCER for months
and I was so busy with Jane to even
notice. She knew that she would die soon
and she wanted to save me from the
whatever negative reaction from our son, in
case we push through with the divorce.— At
least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving
husband….
The small details of your lives are what
really matter in a relationship. It is not the
mansion, the car, property, the money in
the bank. These create an environment
conducive for happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and
do those little things for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy
marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen
to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did
not realize how close they were to success
when they gave up.
Remember love is the richest of all
treasures. Without it there is nothing; and
with it there is everything. Love never
perishes , even if the bones of a lover are
ground fine like powder. Just as the
perfume of sandalwood does not leave it,
even if it is completely ground up, similarly
the basis of love is the soul, and it is
indestructible and therefore eternal. Beauty
can be destroyed , but not love.